So little has been written about marriage from an Orthodox Christian perspective (at least I've been frustrated with the little that I have found); yet, there is so much to be said. I'm thinking of this specifically from an Orthodox Christian perspective because I think that there is a unique understanding within this tradition that sheds some light on how to live as a married couple. I'll try to keep this short, just throw out the basics to get a conversation started:
The Church teaches that the Trinity is not only one in essence but also perfectly united in will. United in will -- this is profound. What does it mean to be perfectly united in will? None of us have experienced perfect unity in will with another human being, so the concept of three entities being completely united in will is almost incomprehensible to us. This is the great mystery of the Christian trinity -- this is how we say "Hear, oh Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One," and at the same time, "We believe in the Holy Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." It is utterly impossible have any understanding of trinity without understanding the concept of a perfectly united will.
What does this have to do with marriage? I'm trying to get there; I think I'm two steps away from the point that I'm trying to make. Any kind of close reading of the gospels reveals the united will of the Trinity: Christ makes several references to his willing submission to the Father, and to the willing submission of the Holy Spirit to the Father. The action, and maybe the essence, of the Trinity is defined by complete mutual submission. This is what it means when we say that God is love.
In the gospels, Christ prays that his followers may find this love, this union of will "that they may be one, as we are that they may all be one, as You, Father, are in me, and I in You; that they also may be one in us. I in them, and You in me, that they may be made perfect in one."
At Christian weddings, I've sensed a nearly audible cringe from non-Christian friends and family when they hear, "Wives, submit to your husbands." It's such a strong reaction, that it is difficult to hear the "husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church." Even if they do hear, what does it mean? The key to understanding these two verses lies in understanding the perfectly united will of the Trinity: it is all about mutual submission. As Christ acted as a servant to all, washing his disciples dirty feet, so we are to serve one another.
Marriage then is about learning mutual submission. The more that we submit our wills to one another, the closer we come to a unity of will. The closer that we come to a unity of will, the happier and more complete our marriages will be.
OK -- I'll get down from my pulpit now. So much for keeping it short.
The Church teaches that the Trinity is not only one in essence but also perfectly united in will. United in will -- this is profound. What does it mean to be perfectly united in will? None of us have experienced perfect unity in will with another human being, so the concept of three entities being completely united in will is almost incomprehensible to us. This is the great mystery of the Christian trinity -- this is how we say "Hear, oh Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One," and at the same time, "We believe in the Holy Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." It is utterly impossible have any understanding of trinity without understanding the concept of a perfectly united will.
What does this have to do with marriage? I'm trying to get there; I think I'm two steps away from the point that I'm trying to make. Any kind of close reading of the gospels reveals the united will of the Trinity: Christ makes several references to his willing submission to the Father, and to the willing submission of the Holy Spirit to the Father. The action, and maybe the essence, of the Trinity is defined by complete mutual submission. This is what it means when we say that God is love.
In the gospels, Christ prays that his followers may find this love, this union of will "that they may be one, as we are that they may all be one, as You, Father, are in me, and I in You; that they also may be one in us. I in them, and You in me, that they may be made perfect in one."
At Christian weddings, I've sensed a nearly audible cringe from non-Christian friends and family when they hear, "Wives, submit to your husbands." It's such a strong reaction, that it is difficult to hear the "husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church." Even if they do hear, what does it mean? The key to understanding these two verses lies in understanding the perfectly united will of the Trinity: it is all about mutual submission. As Christ acted as a servant to all, washing his disciples dirty feet, so we are to serve one another.
Marriage then is about learning mutual submission. The more that we submit our wills to one another, the closer we come to a unity of will. The closer that we come to a unity of will, the happier and more complete our marriages will be.
OK -- I'll get down from my pulpit now. So much for keeping it short.
